Zahir

Today, I want to step away from the rules and talk about lost love. This talk is inspired by a book is written by Paulo Coelho's Zahir.

Zahir is an Urdu word and the he has named his is so apt because it is about the journey to finding your lost love.

This story begins the same way as all the stories did, a guy and a girl spent time together so much they understood each other's every quirks as if they were their siblings.

Eventually, they got married but over time the guy drifted away emotionally and the girl concentrated more in her career.

She left one day without saying a word. Initially, he felt relieved but then he started her missing in every aspect of his life. The partnership he shared with her, the camaraderie was the thing he missed the most.

He went through massive lengths to find his wife and when he did he felt spiritually enlightened.

It is never too late to tell someone that you love them. As I see it Love is not dependent on the other it is a beautiful emotion that makes you feel something you have never felt again.

For Love, we can go anywhere and do anything. Like this guy did, he went around the world to find his lost love and expressed his love. Zahir = Expression!

What makes us stop to say what we feel? why do we hide our feelings?

Hadse toh sab sehtey hai,
Gham toh sab samaya hai,
Par dil hi ek aisi rehnuma hai,
Jisne inn sabke bavajud humein hasna seekhaya hai!

Sixth Rule Of Love

                   Sixth Rule Of Love: Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But, eventually it is best to find a person, the person who will be your mirror. Remember, only in another person's heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.

When in doubt use dictionary or Google!

Lonely (adj) means sad because one has no friends or company whereas Solitude means the state or situation of being alone or in a remote place.

Now, they almost mean the same thing, don't they? But, this book says they are not.

However, it is so weird that when I feel lonely that's what I tell myself. Being lonely is better than being in a bad relationship. When you are alone whatever happens to you are responsible for it.
So, that made me think I am always on the right path. There was one drawback with this I would not feel any emotions towards others. You see, when you tend to be lonely you don't want to be with anyone else even if it is just being a friend to some one. I used to think that being lonely is the best thing. Emotions don't effect you so no pain.

This book told me to be in solitude till you meet your mirror. Have you thought about being alone but not lonely?  Only and only Love can make us feel that we are in solitude as in we might be alone but there is some one somewhere who loves me and I love them back. When you love some one you open yourself to them. They know about your little quirks, your fears, about you. So, when you do something wrong that person will be there to tell you that this is wrong or this is not meant for you. They will always show you the mirror with their honesty.


Solitude is...

Solitude is not the absence of Love, but its complement

Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life.

In solitude, they will discover the love that might otherwise have arrived unnoticed.

In solitude, they will understand and respect the love that left them.

In solitude, they will be able to decide whether it is worth asking that lost love to come back or if they should simply let it go and set off along a new path.

In solitude, they will learn that saying 'No' doesn't always lack of generosity and that saying 'Yes' is not always a virtue.

For those who feel oppressed by solitude, it is important to remember that at life's most significant moments we are always alone.

Just as Love is the divine condition, so solitude is the human condition. And, for those who understand the miracle of life, those two states peacefully coexist.
                                                                                                           ~Paulo Coelho
                                                                                                     (Manuscript found in Accra)


Love incessantly, and feel the love you get. Be thankful for the people around who love you. We all need someone to show us the mirror so that we can feel every bit of emotion and in that emotion every bit of God.

Take Home Message: There will be a few in your life who make you feel loved amongst whom you are as comfortable as a baby in his mothers' arms. Those are your mirrors, love them and you will never enjoy being lonely again.

Fifth Rule Of Love

Fifth Rule: You can study God through everything and everyone in the Universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue, temple or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for Him: in the heart of a true lover.

I saw this movie once called "Taal". By the way, it is on youtube.com and it is free to watch. In that movie, a guy is in love with this beautiful girl but his awfully rich businessman father would not let him marry that girl. And, he tells his father with so much confidence that, I do not believe in pettiness so, I would not run away or make a mockery of our family in front the world. But, If God resides in my heart, If I am righteous, If my love is true then not me but you will bring her to me. There was so much confidence in his voice and words he said that even his father was left speechless.

                 That guy portrayed true love in his heart, and that's where I see God, Himself. In people with such will power and innocence in their eyes these people have God in them. If you are right, and honest to your self, and seeking something in your life then you will one day get you just have to keep on willing for it. 

A mother's love for her kid is as pure as true love and that's why in her we see God. 

                  I come from a conservative, orthodox Indian family but still I believe that God is inside me and I can talk to Him whenever and wherever I want to. I might have visited many temples in my life but when I want to talk to Him. I just close my eyes. One has to really believe in this concept that He is everywhere yet no where. That, He will always be there for you and you just have to believe and love Him.

Hence, the rule states, Try finding Him in your self rather than outside. Love Him and He will be there for you. 

Fourth Rule

Fourth Rule: Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple understandings. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into worlds can only be grasped through silence.

 

We all experience love in our lives in so many different ways. Love is never shown by words it is felt by words, actions, and silence. We all need someone to love us unconditionally and to just be there for us. If you really love someone you will never let them go. You will always try to be part of their lives no matter how far away you are from them emotionally or physically. Because, in love things done in anger, jealousy, depression, and ego do not matter that just defines who you are. 

             

           It is humane thing to simplify every thing and to find the real meaning behind something. There are times you just have to be there in silence for the moment to pass and one day everything will be alright. This friend of mine, is immensely sarcastic and he has to say things which are downright hurtful but right. His words, are so real that it hurts sometimes but I have to look past the hurt and comprehend the things he says are actually good for me. His language hurts me but I would still call him and talk because no matter what he is my best friend and I love him. Moreover, he was always there when I would fall to catch me and take me in his protection. I never noticed him but he was always there silently waiting for me to understand his silent love.

         We complicate our lives by generalizing our facts and saying words which breeds misunderstandings. Sometimes we just have to feel the love rather than analyzing it and know that someday someone would love you so much that no words would and only silence will show you the way.

The Third Rule

The Third Rule: Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advises, ‘Beware too much ecstasy,’ whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the Plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effectively reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.

Have you noticed that at times we would risk anything to get what we want but at times we would tread carefully? We all have both materials inside us intellect and love. We often choose between the two in our day-to-day life. Intellect when are dealing with people we don’t care for and Love for people we care for.

It’s not about which option is good. It’s about which option we should choose at a particular situation.

Someone once told me that there is nothing like true love. There is either love or there is no love. When you love someone you never judge them; you like them in all situations; in all conditions. That’s why it frees you from all the tangles. No matter how much someone could tell you that person is not right for you but you won’t believe them because love has set you free from all those judgments.

Sheena, was a loving mother and she loved her only son Pi. Pi was a very naughty child and day by day his small misdemeanors turned into big ones. He started stealing from his classmates. Sheena knew about her child’s behavior. She tried to teach him about what is good and what is bad. But, she knew that this won’t help. While she was dealing with her son, people around her would always taunt her, say abusive things to her about her son but she would always defend him with a smile on her face. Because, a mother loves her child selflessly. Her love for her son is free from all tangles and she would risk anything and everything for him. In time, Pi understood his mistakes and apologized to his mom and asked her a question, “Why would you defend me when you knew I wasn’t right?”

She just said that, my love for you was never depended on what world thinks is right or wrong. I just love you and I always will.

This rule: tries to tell you to risk anything and everything for something you love and not the idea of love. Even if it makes you look like a fool do it just because you believe in it you love it only then you would get what you want.

Every great idea was laughed at first, all the renowned scientists were first booed off because of their out of the box ideas. But, they believed in them, loved their work so much that they spent day night to prove others wrong. And, as far as I know, it gave world people like Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Graham Bell, Narendra Modi, Barrack Obama, Mandela, etc. They came from the ruins and became an asset.

We all have it in us. It depends on us to choose whether intellect will be the best way to go or love.

Don't be mistaken! One who loves can also be intelligent that person is just choosing not to be.

Try to your free mind of all the dos or donts. They just burden you. Be free-minded ;)

The Second Rule

Second Rule: The Path to the Truth is the Labor of the Heart, not of the Head. Make your Heart your primary guide! Not your Mind.

Meet, Challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafs (False ego) with your Heart. Knowing yourself will lead you to the knowledge of God.

Elif, (the writer of the book: “The forty rules of love”) talks about truth and love together in this rule and several thoughts just sprung up in my mind.

We lie to the people we love all the time. A father lies to his daughter about the pain he is suffering from or what hardships he has gone through earning the money for that nice plate of dessert.

A lover lies to the people he loves because he/she doesn’t want them to suffer as they are. There are many reasons we do that.

When you lie, Do you hear that sound or that voice which is telling not to lie? Or that pinch you get after telling the lie? You feel like covering your face or just behave that you are too tired to talk but in your mind you are still debating?

That’s what Elif wants you to comprehend, this debate or this voice inside your mind is your heart (not that hearts can talk, but your soul).

We can judge each other easily. You could look at a person and tell him/her how they behave or why they behave.

We rarely know what we want at times even if we do we aren’t sure.

Have you ever asked yourself? What do you want? What do you need? What is your desire?

Are you sure she is the one? Can you guarantee on this? Why is red your favorite color?

Why do you wear those rings? What made you choose that career?

Mostly, mind rules our decisions in our day-to-day life.

What if we give that inner voice a chance sometimes? How does it feel? How does it feel to not lie to the people you love?

Path to the Truth is the Labor of Heart: Truth can hurt but it also helps. It helps you to know yourself.

In the end, I would like to say Truth will manifest itself one day or the other so why lie. Just say what you feel and see it how goes. Say what you want to say because we have limited time here on this earth. Live it up!

The First Rule

First Rule: "How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we."

It is so skilfully argued in the book that if we have blame and fear inside us then we would blame god for not helping us or for not showing us the way ahead.

We might as well say God is a figment of our imagination. 

Don’t we all think that at one point of our life that maybe God is just an illusion that we need to get by.

Is He an illusion, our imagination? Or Is He for reals?

I know that when we keep digging deeper in this issue about God exists or not?

We get nothing or no explanation.

We just get one thing that there is someone or something out there which wanted this world to come alive.

And, we want it to look like us so that we can relate to something similar and not go completely nuts in figuring out Who? How? Where? On this issue.

Because, we want it to look similar we relate it to the feelings that we have inside us.

If we are pessimistic then we think that God won’t help.

If we are optimistic then we think that He will help in his own way.

If we are realistic then we say do what you do and do it right. We don’t think about God.

If we are spiritualistic then we say He is within us and we just have to find Him.

So, in a way, it is true that God is a direct reflection of us.

All we need to do is to know who we are as a person and try to adjust with that fact to become happy.

I know only thing in life:

Do whatever you want to do. It should result into only one thing that it makes YOU HAPPY.

Orelse, it's not worth it.